Let's dust this off

Hey,

I don't write often, or at all really. Mostly I find myself wanting to let the world know what i'm feeling, but under the guise of a cryptic facebook status, 140 character tweet, or simple random hashtags. It also usually has to do with something going on in my life, mainly women. I'm always so poetic when my heart hurts. I think so at least; my words seem to flow together a little more smoothly than other times I put pen to paper or fingers to keys.

This time I want it to be different. I do want to pour out my hurting heart, but after that short mourning time, I want to share the life i'm bringing to others. I'm a student nurse and my passion is healing the sick. It'll be like a journal, an outlet, a release from my day. Nobody reads this anymore? No sweat, it'll be for my own benefit.

To say what is laying on my heart; I am so sorry. Words cannot express how sorry I am for how I treated you. My heart wouldn't let my head know what was going on. I treated you terribly, and i'm paying for it now, in my own way. I didn't realize what I had until you slipped away. You say things that give me hope, but I can't help but be anxious that you're just being nice. I don't think you'll come back to me, other people treat you better than I did and make you just as happy. Why would you? It doesn't make sense, so I hope, but only a sliver. I'm already talking myself into the crushed hope i'll soon be feeling. I. am. so. sorry.

For now, it's my day off from my summer internship at William Beaumont Army Medical Center. My LT. was cool enough to take a few of us shooting with him. That should be fun.


-A