Don't be dumb, heart.

My mind realizes what has happened, and its the logical one. It buried the pain quickly and was ready for a time of tranquility and peace, but my heart...my heart still hasn't let go. It makes me angry that my heart and my mind don't travel along the same path, but then again if they did I wouldn't know how to love. Love is felt, and only once you feel it is known to you. Feeling love has such a stronger hold on your heart than knowing love, because when you feel love, truly with your heart -- there are no reservations that it doesn't know. Its all encompassing and all know, it spreads out through your being so that it touches every facet of your life. That is why, when you feel love it is unexplainably joyous; but on the other side of that coin, that is why when you lose love the pain is so great. Of course, there are varying levels of how far the love can spread before its removed, but in my case, I was fully immersed, all encompassed.

Now, I just pray to God to heal my heavy heart; to clear my mind of the sorrow it keeps being reminded of. I pray that you find happiness, I couldn't offer the kind you were looking for, but hopefully he can. I pray you are honest, to the point that it hurts. I hope you don't wait until its convenient to be honest, but be hurtfully honest, brutally. I would rather have that, then to be led to the slaughter. Finally, I pray to the Lord that one day we can be friends, that the hurt will subside and i'll see you just as a friend, and not as the love that was lost.

Hurry up heart, the mind is ready and I want to be ready. I want to be out of this pit of sadness and moving on, so lets make a tag team with Jesus. He'll be there for us, lets trust. We got this, heart and mind.

Anthony

It's gotta come out.

I was prepared to give you the world, ya know? But, in my preparation, did I suffer from tunnel vision? Was I so focused on the good, hoping and wishing it to work, that I missed the tell-tale signs of trouble? You decided you couldn't handle the whopping distance of half a state...a half a state? Thats it? Thats nothing. So you decided to cop-out on me, claiming you couldn't handle it, but of course, you still loved me. I was fine with that, for the most part. Sure, it hurt that you didn't want to risk a measly 400 mile gap between us, but I wasn't going to force you into a situation you couldn't handle. Want to know another measly piece of information? A whole 5 days later you were in a relationship.  You know what that tells me? You were seeing somebody before you ended it with me, and even if we didn't have the title, we were still "dating". And doing what you did, its called cheating. I find it one of the lowest things a person can do. I like how you had the audacity to do this, very bold. I thought you were sweet and loving, but I can't trust a word from your mouth anymore. The least you could have done is told me upfront, "I'm seeing someone else." That would have been easier than putting the pieces together 5 days after you break up with me. All I wanted was a relationship, but I guess this other guy made you happier in 5 days than I did in 3 months. Good on ya, bro. But think about it man, if she was willing to drop me on a dime when she found something "better" whats the difference when she finds someone better than you?

I wish you the best, but please don't talk to me anymore. I can't handle any more lies or untruth's, and if you look back on this situation down the road, realize what you've lost. I know i'm worth someone's time and love, and you just were not that.

Anthony