Hand

Proverbs 1:19;

"Such are the paths of all who go after ill-gotten gain; it takes away the life of those who get it." 


I've been broken hearted over women before, and there is a constant theme on why they don't want to be in a relationship with me, "We both need to grow in God first," or bestest yet "God told me so."

Hmph. Sounds like God is speaking profound things to the girls I like. I wish he would say to me, "Nah, boy, not this girl." Then I could be like, "Oh honey, you're sweet and all but God told me so, its not you."

But the truth is; people use God as a cop out. Usually people get in too deep for what they were looking for, they let themselves actually Love. Scary, I know. Or, they weren't in as much Limerence* as they thought they were, and when the honeymoon state of how awesome the other person is over, "God told me so." pops out.

So how do I deal with it? First, I don't get mad at God. I know he's not audibly yelling at these girls to breakup with me. Second, I think about them. Who were they? Did they really like me? Did they love me? Most of the time they didn't, it was me who had the feelings. Thirdly, I get really sad. I mean, what did I do to tick off God? Does he not want me to have a relationship? Fourthly, I realize that God is amazing, I pray to him, and I find peace in his presence and his word. Thats usually when I find the diamond in the coal; the smack in the face. I'm going to take a step here and say that God actually wants me to have a relationship. A dang happy one too, but he's kinda weeding out the weak. I make belief conversations in my head with God; I feel he chuckles at them but gives me some incite in my own head. Here's one:

ME: Hey Big G, I see you're speaking to these girls again. It hurts for them to leave. Just saying, maybe one could stay?

BIG G: Oh one will stay champ. But who were these chicks you were toying around with? Here, lets go for a walk. Take my hand, and I'll show you what you get.

ME: I'm scared to take your hand...

BIG G: What i'm taking you too is worth the fear of trusting me.

So I take his hand, and for a few months life is amazing.

Then I let go of it.


And i'm right back where I started, chasing someone I think I love, only to have them commune with the Great and Holy, and break my heart.

But thats the great thing, the Lord is the ultimate artist. He took dirt and made a MAN! I'm sure he can take the pieces of my heart and make something just as wonderful.

Today, I needed a pick-me-up;

"but whoever listens to me will live in safety and be at ease, without fear of harm." Proverbs 1:33. 


I'll listen Lord, i'll take your hand, i'll hold on tight. Now, where we going?



*Psychology the state of being infatuated or obsessed with another person, typically involuntary, and characterized by a strong desire for reciprocation of one's feelings but not primarily for a sexual relationship.